Friday, April 24, 2009

2009-11 BOZEMAN

Dump! While much of the nation was unpacking bathing gear and inflating beach balls, a few days ago I sat staring into a near whiteout – easily 2 feet on the ground and snow predicted to continue for another 24 hours or so. Good (and deep) things come to he who waits. Then in the blink of an eye brilliant sunshine was making fast work of the 40+ inches that ultimately descended. Sad that such great beauty vanishes overnight, but perhaps a metaphor for much of our daily experience.

The local populace has for months bemoaned the lack of moisture, particularly as a massive beetle infestation has decimated hundreds of acres of pine forest. Apparently reduced moisture combined with diminished forestation conspire to produce effects of which I am largely ignorant but have been assured will be horrific. Be careful what you wish for; April snow showers bring May runoff.

And as I was assured that spring was on its way to the Gallatin Valley, I grabbed some shorts and Tees and headed for Montana. An unremarkable drive north on I-25 turned déjà-vuish as I merged west on I-90 and found, you guessed it, another whiteout. Seventy degrees yesterday, 8 inches of white stuff today, and seventy degrees tomorrow. Just another reminder from Mother N. that it is most unwise to anticipate her.

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Just when I took on Twitter with a few snide comments, there has been a virtual blizzard of interest in the technology. Politicians, teachers, and emergency management officials have joined the usual suspects -- tweens, starlets, druggies and the like to increase visibility and massively expand usage.

I still find the majority of its application to be narcissistic and self absorbed, announcing to the world factoids that only a mother might evidence interest in, n’est pas? See how I cleverly avoided ending the last sentence with a preposition! Perhaps it’s true that good can be found anywhere, if one is willing to rummage through the persiflage.

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As the ursine population awakes from hibernation, so do those who respond to natural and man (and woman) inflicted carnage. While disasters can occur on any day of the calendar, spring-to-fall is high season for tornados, floods, forest fires, and of course hurricanes. I am now receiving requests to “stand by for deployment”, but here I sit ployed, waiting for the glass to break and the alarm to sound.

It will be interesting to see if the new Administration jiggers the national response system and in what way. One silver lined post-Katrina advancement has been the use of technology to stage, transit, and track equipment and material moving in response to disasters. There really was not a gross lack of response to Katrina/Rita/Wilma, just dismal coordination and terribly inefficient application of human resources and material dispatch. I sat in Montgomery, Alabama for 4 days after Katrina watching the televised pleas of the Mississippi and Louisiana Governors for assistance of any and all kinds, while my Red Cross handlers swore and affirmed that no credible assistance requests had been submitted.

Improved logistics management would certainly be of some comfort to the FEMA functionary who, some 10 days after Katrina departed Hattiesburg, came upon a parked 18-wheeler sporting a large “FEMA Disaster Relief” placard. Obviously abandoned, he cut the padlock, threw open the doors, and was swept away by an 8-foot wall of water, a result of the transformation that ice undergoes when subjected to the snail-like plodding of the federal bureaucracy.

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Being neither politician nor government official, I am most reluctant to make predictions, as without the aforementioned protective cover I fully expect to be held at some point accountable. But I will venture the thought that the North Dakota native recently convicted and sentenced to an eight year term by an Iranian tribunal will likely be released down the road. Such regimes have a consistent record of dragooning the innocent and then at some future date, after a suitable period of torture and usually as a negotiating ploy, release the wrongly confined as “a humanitarian gesture,” much to the delight of loonies of the stripe who believe that Castro has brought paradise to the Isle of Cuba.

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I find much of organized religion (I keep wondering if the unorganized component is any better) to be overbearing, sensibility challenged, and somewhat disjointed, but I question the motives of those who harbor a pathological need to mock and ridicule. Whistling past the graveyard?

Some years ago an acquaintance passed away, the result of a tragic (some say freak, but the word freaks me out) accident. Such was his stature in the community that the Episcopal Diocese sent a luminary to preside at the interment. She faced a chock-a-block sanctuary and with appropriate solemnity began: “I know many of you are asking how and why such a senseless act could come to pass? I am here to help you understand.”

I felt hair rise on my neck and a butterfly or two danced about my sternum. Could this possibly be my long sought logical, believable explanation of the meaning of life, its origins, passage, and beyond? I held my breath, as did I imagine the assembled throng. There followed a good forty minutes of the most appalling psychobabble imaginable, heavily larded with the standard warning – we don’t have a clue what’s going on here, but if you don’t believe absolutely and unquestionably, you are a dunce and fool, and you better be prepared to don asbestos underwear, as eternal fire will figure prominently in your everlasting future.

Despite all this, I have no quarrel with those who find solace in religion. We all need something to get us through the day, be it The Word, love of family, satisfaction of achievement, or bourbon.

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Radio is a mental salve on long car journeys such as the 11 hour transit from Georgetown to Bozeman. Hearing a snippet of a song, “she was baptized in dirty water” reminded me why I like country music.

And then there are the items that almost make one veer across the center line, like the lady who commented “my car got into an accident.” Yup, sure did. All by its own self I gather. And an NPR story of parents suing a school district which, to conserve gasoline, redrew bus routes that resulted in some students having to walk up to three blocks from home to access transportation.

In 2009 when children are found to be obese, do-gooders blame (and sue) McDonalds, with apparently no recognition that 50 years ago children exercised the extremities below their knees to access the 3 Rs, while today their tushies are massaged by upholstered seats as they are motored to classes on social networking and politically correct speech, resulting in severe atrophy to both ends of their delicate corpi.

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…I have for some time been predicting that the Adventure is morphing into spring. Il arrive. One of these days. Address all complaints to Mother Nature. Il n'est pas de ma faute.
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Sunday, April 12, 2009

2009-10 GRORGETOWN

I am such a schlub. Alas, I am not one of the 9 million among us that fortuitously qualifies for government je ne sais quoi – not a “bailout”, that’s a nasty word reserved for villainous bankers and larcenous financial moguls. Neither, according to my President, a “handout,” but simply a mechanism to “put more money into their pockets.” Say what?

What a yutz I’ve been. I didn’t live beyond my means, I didn’t buy a $750,000 McMansion on a $25,000 salary. When I took my kids to Disneyland on spring break we stayed in a Ramada, not within the opulence of the Magic Kingdom. Skiing was no Vail slopeside condo, but a Quality Inn downtown Salt Lake City, or the clean but spartan (tho misnamed) Luxury Inn, managed by Russian Gregori and his somewhat scary accomplice Natasha. We naively conserved and saved, salted away, like the idiot squirrel, a few nuts for the winter.

All the while those wiser than I, those who bolstered the economy by spending 125% of their income, those who pursued the good life with wild abandon on a wing and a prayer, tackling with gusto enterprises I would never in my wildest dreams consider, these are now “the qualified.” These victims of capitalism will be rescued, plucked from the clutches of economic predators, and their deficiencies remedied by who – why we schlubs of course. And yes I know there are the truly downtrodden and deserving, but most of these didn’t participate in “the splurge,” and thus also don’t “qualify”.

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On this Easter Sunday there are a number of sunrise services here in the Rockies, the most popular apparently at the Red Rocks Amphitheater. The event is heavily advertised on radio and TV, always with the tag line “no admission charge and parking is free.” I assume Jesus would approve.

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In my youth at the height of American anti-communism, the phrase “Better dead than red” was fashionable. Even as a child something didn’t ring quite true here. A current idiocy (they do appear in abundance nowadays) is “Don’t resist. Give the bad guys anything they want.” Such is the drama playing out off the Somali coast, where ransom for the safe return of the Mersk Alabama captain is being described as “a normal cost of doing business.”

Paul Krugman on the Stephanopoulos Sunday news show today referred to piracy as “a minor irritant, like mugging”!!!!! I wonder if Captain Richard Phillips finds it so, stuffed into a covered lifeboat with no food or sanitary facilities. Might Mr. K. consider trading places and suffer this “minor irritant”?

Ethnic gangs tried this tack in the New York, Boston, and Chicago neighborhoods of a younger America, and while remnants still undoubtedly exist today, “pay for protection” is no longer a common component of commerce for the local green grocer or at the corner filling station.

Wholesale coercion failed because a few brave souls risked (and sometimes lost) their lives by refusing to be bullied, in part, I suspect, due to (an admirable) stubborn independence, but also from realization that bad behavior tolerated leads to – guess what? – more (much more) of the same.

What’s a measly few million compared to a $250 million vessel carrying $100 million of cargo? Well, a great deal if you consider that rewarding bad behavior will surely escalate the practice. Most kindergarten teachers know this well, although our current mania to reward all and punish none may well slowly turn our schools into miniature versions of Mogadishu.

In a former life I played a modest role in an educational institution that was occasional blackmailed with threats of the nature that “if you don’t give our Susie the “A” she clearly deserves – the assigned “B” might wither the enthusiasm of Ivy League admissions' staff – we will trash your name in the community and bring a lawsuit for good measure”.

Discussion invariably turned to “what must we concede to make this go away,” and predictably caused smoke to emanate from my auditory protrusions. Due partly to my petulant tantrums, no concessions were offered and threats dissolved as they usually do when birthed by cowardice or craven motivation, although I understand that in today’s progressive climate such occurrences are “a normal cost of doing (educational) business”. I have previously remarked that in my day if I came home with a note of reprimand from the teacher I was taken to the woodshed. Today parents hire a lawyer and sue the school. Progress, d’ya think?

It has just been announced that Captain Phillips has been freed after remaining pirates were cut down by U. S. Navy gunfire. Perhaps the Danish fleet owners falling all over themselves to pay ransom will now wish to seek out a flag other than the Stars and Stripes to fly, perhaps one laced with colors of the sun.

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Colorado has joined a growing number of les Etats proposing in-state and in many cases free college tuition for “the undocumented” – the currently preferred progressive iteration of “illegal,” (does sound far more benign, hein?). Right-wing trogs narrowly defeated the measure, and as a card carrying knuckle-dragger myself, I approved, but admittedly with a distinct personal bias.

I am currently enmeshed in a generous helping of education debt, the majority attributable to out-of-state tuition obligations. It is indeed vexing to contemplate that except for the misfortune of “documentation,” I might be consuming wine with a cork rather than screw-cap.

I am in fact an admirer of the Hispanic work ethic and family values, but as I contemplate the hot button immigration issue, my thoughts turn to those south-of-the-border schlubs whose misplaced faith in law caused them to wait in long lines at American Consulates that they might add their names to even longer lists of those desiring to immigrate legally and lawfully.

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There have emerged equal dollops of fawning and derision over arrival at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue of the “first dog.” Any talisman that can deliver a measure of normalcy to the “first children” should be welcomed and not hyped. Despite the obvious percs due their position, children in the political spotlight exist in a stifling bubble. The Clintons requested, and in large measure received consideration for their daughter. Consideration the Bush twins never were granted – recall the left-wing campaign to draft and ship them to Iraq. And apparently the Palin daughter’s saga is destined to provide a healthy measure of progressive sniggering for some time to come.

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Despite attempts to break the habit, I do find myself tuned to C-SPAN with discomforting regularity. While the guest segments are generally informative, the call-in portions entertain in ways to which the great comedians can only aspire. This morning in soliciting solutions to Somali piracy, two of five callers demanded criminal investigation of Bush. No direct connection was alleged, simply a metaphysical conviction that all planetary evil stems from the man from Midland.

Not surprising, as I note there are still gobs of progressives that begin each and every political statement with the plaint “After Bush stole the 2000 election…”

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And as this post appears to emerge almost entirely political (je suis coupable…), I close acknowledging the mini-bruhaha twixt our new VEEP and former Bush staffers. It seems that VP Biden, tutored at the knee of his predecessor, inventor of the Internet Al Gore, is spreading the word that he regularly “dressed down” George Bush, castigating him in private Oval Office meetings that mysteriously were never entered into official White House logs. Stealth politics, ya gotta love it.

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…the adventure suffers a bit from cabin fever…having passed generous snippets of time hereabouts over several decades, but only in winter…the questions emerges whether it is time to move on…yet at the moment a fierce Easter snow squall gives pause…
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Sunday, April 5, 2009

2009-09 GEORGETOWN

No dump, but nearly a foot of white, not-quite-as-fluffy as that which arrived in January, laden as it is with spring moisture. But enough to guarantee another good week on the mountain. Then I suspect Mother Nature will wave her celestial wand and transform the winter wonderland into a summer paradise, replete with mosquitoes, tourists, and other friends of the earth.

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Municipal elections take place here next week, and the hot mayoral issue appears to rest on which candidate is more adroit at securing “grant” funds for the town. A fascinating concept whereby the government collects taxes then returns a portion to those most adept at masterful prose and mystical mathematical manipulation. I have seen enormous grant largess reposing untouched in government closets while pleas for essentials from those less proficient at milking the public bosom are rejected or ignored.

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In true AlGorian fashion the feel-good world last Saturday turned out the lights in homage to Earth Hour. Just imagine –the Sydney Opera House, the Egyptian Pyramids, meme le Tour Eiffel, dark -- for an entire 60 minutes! Be still my heart.

Emblematic of our former VEEP commandeering a private jet and winging across the country to give a one hour speech lecturing me on my unconscionable despoliation of the planet. I’ve said before, your carbon footprint against mine any day Al. When last I made this observation, an intrepid watchdog responded that Al’s contributions dwarf mine and therefore he should be granted leeway. Point debatable, but accepted. It is precisely this argument that liberals haughtily reject when Americans note that our advanced level of productivity should cut us some slack in comparison to a developing world that pollutes with abandon. Touché

Earth Hour is empty symbolism run amok. For a solid decade the EU warned and threatened several member nations over violations of end-of-life vehicle disposal (i.e. junk car) regulations. Finally they had enough and fined the miscreants a full 10,000 Euros each!!! Showed them, didn’t they! Press releases crowed over this courageous stand, and myriad additional examples have since tumbled forth describing similar merciless EU crackdowns on recalcitrant national scoundrels.

Now imagine taking a shiny penny (or EU centime if you will) and chopping it into a hundred pieces, then fining you or me one of these snippets. Roughly the equivalent of fining a sovereign European state 10,000 Euros. But it sure seems to help these folks sleep better at night, and encourage morally superior wagging of accusatory fingers at the North American and Asian nations that refuse to participate in the charade.

France – the City of Light – that shines a spotlight on everything from statuary genitalia to tulips in the Tuileries, could show serious commitment by bathing itself in darkness one day a week, or perhaps stifling diplomacy (the greatest planetary contribution to carbon dioxide emissions) on occasion.

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How fast the winds do shift. Europe fell into near delirium over candidate Obama, anointing him “President of the World,” but now he is “leading the way to hell” according to the EU President. Yet his wit, smile, and soaring rhetoric keeps the throngs in thrall, even as thousands march demanding an end to Capitalism.

He remains a rock star for the masses, and elicits interesting parallels to events on our shores. Both here and in Europe the man (and woman) in the street is mesmerized by his exceptional oratory, while the business and professional communities remain skeptical. But he did a number on the other 19 G’s, extracting a $2 trillion promise to aid in the global fix.

A note of caution here. Governments have a vexing way of reneging on promises, largely because they are not accountable, at least (for politicians) until the next election cycle, and for functionaries, never. I deem it a metaphysical certainty that much of the $2 trillion largess proffered by the G-20 will never find its way into the planetary pocket.

As to my President’s reception in Europe, as enthusiastic (or arguably more) than he receives here -- surprising? D‘ya think? When his words suggest that America will be moving closer to or even (shudder) adopting the European model, should anyone be surprised that Europeans respond with raucous approval?

Europe has become quite comfortable allowing the USA to lead the charge and pay the bills (doubters: witness Afghanistan, a war that Europe supports by mouth but not with boots on the ground). It will be quite a shock when Europe twigs that replacing the despised “go it alone” Bush with a multilateral Obama means it will now be expected to assume a leadership role in fiscal and human commitment as well as by means of oratory. Be careful what you wish for.

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Bird strikes are much in the news at the moment, and it occurred to me that the prime malefactors appear to be Canadian Geese. Not, mind you, Mexican geese, nor Al Qaeda geese. The French wisely consume the edible parts of these winged terrorists and I have never heard of a collision over Lille or Toulouse. Something to think about –A?

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The adventure transitions to Springtime in the Rockies…one can almost hear the Von Trapp family singing in the background…
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